Update

So lately I've been feeling unusual. Well I mean like, I've felt like this since the ending of 2010 then ongoing. It's like this emptiness inside of me that won't go away. It doesn't hurt honestly, it just makes you feel nothing. Yes, simply nothing that's impossible right? Well you're wrong, this emptiness then starts to take over you and it starts taking advantage of you. How? You start feeling useless and you think way too much and you can't help but think if living is worth it. That there is nothing in life for you anymore and that feeling sucks. You lose motivation for everything and you feel like no one understands you. This is not depression trust me. What I show towards other people is happiness but what I really feel inside is sorrow. In all honesty I miss the feeling of having feelings. I know confusing right? What I actually mean is I miss having those emotions I once did like last year and the years before that. I miss learning new feelings and thoughts but at the same time I'm mad at myself for not experiencing this new feeling before hand. I don't know what to say, what to do, or to even think anymore.